Tino’s Story: A father’s fight for survival

Tino, a gay Latino in his 50s, always sensed his neighbor’s hatred. He had experienced discrimination before, but this proved to be different. One day, his neighbor’s hatred turned violent. In his own home, in front of his two sons, his neighbor attacked him.

The assault was brutal, punctuated by homophobic slurs and death threats. Fear for his boys fueled Tino’s resilience. Despite two broken arms, he fought back, his instinct to protect his sons overriding the pain.

The attack displaced Tino and his sons, forcing them to flee their home. He connected with The San Diego LGBT Community Center’s Crisis Services team, experiencing debilitating PTSD with a barrage of painful memories.

Guided by a counselor at The Center, EMDR therapy became his lifeline, helping Tino address the trauma. Slowly, the flashbacks became less vivid, the fear less consuming. He began to find a measure of peace as he retold his story, his voice growing stronger as he spoke of protecting his sons, who also received counseling.

Though he couldn’t return to the home where the attack occurred, he and his sons began to rebuild – a journey made possible with community support and a refusal to let hate win. Tino’s story is a poignant example of the vital work undertaken by The San Diego LGBT Community Center, one of the border region’s 27 community-based partners of the Stop the Hate program, fostering resilience in the face of prejudice.

Its mission is clear: to enhance and sustain the health and well-being of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, transgender, nonbinary, immigrant, and HIV communities in San Diego, supporting members across all life stages and backgrounds.

The Center serves the full spectrum of the LGBTQ+ community, including youth, seniors, transgender and nonbinary individuals, as well as LGBTQ+ Latinx, Black, and immigrant communities, and people living with HIV. This expansive reach ensures that no one is left behind in the journey towards healing and safety, truly centering communities and lifting unheard voices.

Tino’s experience highlights the immediate and devastating impact of hate. When he reached out, he was met by The Center’s Crisis Services team. This multi-disciplinary program provides immediate crisis intervention, advocacy, legal support connections, and crucial emotional care for survivors of hate and bias incidents. This swift, comprehensive response is critical, as it counters the isolation and fear that often follows such attacks.

The Center’s Behavioral Health Services program was vital for Tino. Trauma-informed therapy, specifically EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), became his primary intervention. This specialized approach addresses the deep-seated symptoms of PTSD, such as the heightened anxiety and fear Tino was experiencing, which can severely disrupt daily functioning and one’s sense of safety. Tino’s progress, sharing his story with reduced emotional intensity and expressing empowerment in describing how he protected his sons, is a direct result of this focused, expert care, a testament to the power of healing.

Furthermore, recognizing that the trauma extended to his family, The Center’s Behavioral Health Services team provided counseling for Tino’s two sons. This underlines The Center’s commitment to supporting the entire family unit, understanding that hate impacts all who witness or are touched by its violence. The Center’s Latin@x Services also ensure that culturally affirming health and social services are available for Latine LGBTQ+ individuals like Tino, fostering culturally responsive services founded in trust.

This is where The Center’s expertise, honed over decades, becomes invaluable. Their substantial experience allows them to effectively connect with underrepresented populations and respond to evolving needs. Through comprehensive outreach and education, The Center actively works to raise awareness of the adverse impact of hate, discrimination, and bias, encouraging the broader community to engage in anti-hate solutions. Their Training Institute also offers professional development, enhancing the expertise of other service providers to improve LGBTQ+ affirming care across the region.

Tino’s journey from a moment of profound vulnerability to one of growing empowerment reflects The Center’s dedication to moving survivors from crisis to cultivation – establishing stability and finding new hope. While Tino and his sons could not return to the home where the attack occurred, they are rebuilding their lives, gradually improving work engagement and decreasing emotional distress.

The San Diego LGBT Community Center exemplifies how coordinated efforts can transform individual suffering into collective strength. Their wide array of solutions, from crisis intervention to legal assistance and mental health counseling, embodies a comprehensive approach to combating hate. By strengthening organizations like The Center, the Stop the Hate program ensures that immediate, culturally competent, and collaborative support is available. This partnership is crucial for connecting cultures and fostering a resilient community, where individual strength contributes to collective impact.

The San Diego LGBT Community Center ensures that hope can emerge even in the harshest conditions, rebuilding one life at a time.

Contact The Center’s team at [email protected] to get connected to their services.